i am sweating blood. lexie won't crack. he's not admitting the identity of his mysterious admirer. not even after a lot of smooth talking on my part and wild guesses (i tried the sally line) and a flood of annoying questions. that man won't budge. he's as tightlipped as a - something that's supposed to be tight. well, hopefully, in the distant future, while on his death bed, lexie will whisper the identity of the woman/man into jimmy's ear, who'll whisper it into yao's ear, who'll whisper it into chern's ear, who'll whisper it to anyone who's still alive. yeah, it'd just be like a janjang aritmetik. well lexie, regardless of gender of your admirer, we'll be behind you all the way!

speaking of "being behind", i hope jimmy appreciates the miniature glass figurines i bought for him. hee. you can display them in your room and prance around with them when no one's looking or when you're taking a break from reading your programming textbooks! *RAWR* ps: they are miniature for a reason.

guess what guess what? today i lugged a 50kg bookshelf all the way from toa payoh central to toa payoh level 6. by myself! not wanting to be boastful or anything, but i think it's safe to say that my arm not so small anymore.

........

OKLA OKLA. i didn't lug it alone. yao sort of gave minimal assistance. and it wasn't 50kg. maybe 45kg. nonetheless, i can still feel my biceps and triceps trembling with pure strength!

patrick will be so happy that he's marrying a she-ra!

this is what happens when you unleash your socked foot onto a horny pomeranian with razor sharp teeth

horny pomeranian with razor sharp teeth courtesy of low wan chiun, chippendale, sydney.
socked foot courtesy of yours truly. it burns... it buuuurrrrnnnnnssssss

it was diana's birthday today. we didn't have a cake for her but i did have this hard-as-nails jazzy brownie at nydc. took some very unflattering photos of diana eating her asian spaghetti. it was a very sombre day today.

my mood ring is still dark blue in colour.

and i've found my little notebook. it's safe. it's intact on my desk. i'll never lose it again. god forbid it falls into the wrong hands. .

I CANNOT FIND MY LITTLE NOTEBOOK! THE ONE WHERE I WRITE ALL MY LITTLE SECRETS IN AND MY "TO DO LIST" AND MY GROCERY SHOPPING LIST AND MY IMPORTANT PHONE NUMBERS.

DO NOT FALL INTO THE WRONG HANDS, LITTLE NOTEBOOK! I SHALL NOT HALT MY SEARCH FOR YOU UNTIL WE ARE REUNITED.

I CAN'T ACCESS BOSS. THIS MEANS I HAVE TO KEEP MY BID OF $53 FOR SOME CRUMMY SUBJECT!

I CAN'T GO OUT FOR SEAFOOD DINNER TONIGHT AT TIONG BAHRU! I'M ALLERGIC TO PRAWNS!

i just woke up. heh.

a little courtesy wouldn't kill you, would it?

a simple "thank you" doesn't exert much effort, does it?

and you dare say grace before you tuck into your sinful meal.

sorry, this is me being premenstrual-like because there just haven't been enough tips and too many rude customers.

i bought a mood ring today and it's forever been dark blue since i slipped it onto my finger. after some reference to the detailed mood colour chart, it seems that i am supposedly in love.

stupid mood ring's faulty.

What's playing on winamp? F4 - jue bu neng shi qu ni (this is the part where you all denounce your friendship with me)

will and grace sucks. will pathetically bends his wimpy back over for grace's annoyingly dependent needs. she whines about everything and even when will graciously lets her move in with him, she complains about the bathroom! talk about gratitude.

yeah maybe i don't like will and grace because of grace. they should just let the show revolve around will.

sean hayes steals the show, though. his over-the-top gay character has me in stitches and reminds me of when he appeared in saturday night life with jimmy fallon, as gay salesmen. i have a couple of gay friends and heh sometimes i see them in jack. or i see jack in them.

wutever.

so to conclude, i think two and a half episodes of will and grace are enough. give me gilmore girls any time.

i've noticed that one of my friends (let's call him cranky kkc) has the tendency to blame other people for the bad things that happen to him. like when he got hit on by a gay, he blamed it on the gay's poor, unrefined taste in men. oh ho better not blame it on the attention-drawing, ultra-exposing DARK BLUE singlet and groin shorts that he was clad in because that so does not scream GAY MAGNET GAY MAGNET.

another incident was when he was supposed to meet a friend (let's call her nannis) for lunch. when they reached the restaurant, they found greedy singaporeans already forming a queue outside the restaurant. instead of blaming himself and his tardiness (he was 15 minutes late), he blamed it on nannis' sleeping habits and sluggishness (non-existent).

but my friend is lucky that i overlook this little personality disorder and consider him such a good friend that i'm willing to help him stock up on beauty products from watsons (wei! don't forget that you can't use your facial scrub everyday. once every three days is enough!). i think i've had enough of picturesque toa payoh, though.

i despise it when strangers address me with terms of endearment like sweetie, sayang, dear, etc. yuck. sorry for the digression.

oh yeah i finally got my second batch of melbourne photos. instead of posting them onto an online photo album, i took a cue from patrick and decided to upload to angelfire. please click here to be sent there. an apology beforehand to melbournians if i've misspelt or misnamed any landmarks or roads. muchos gracias.

i know there were supposed to be photos but intended subject threatened bodily harm if i whipped out my camera (he didn't actually say that out loud but i am a good reader of body language).

aah remember the good old days when i used to loop and wail along to jay chou's "an jing", sobbing uncontrollably whilst clutching a soggy earl grey tea bag to my heaving chest?

well remember them never again! those days are good and gone forever. amen.

yesterday was spent with cynthia. i bought her a birthday cum thank you lunch at marche and we spent the better part of our day trying to outdo each other's impressions of ron weasley in the whomping willow. sad to say, that little minx won by a whisker but only because i was having a bad harry potter day.

my day today was healthy, thank you very much! i went blading in the east coast park. my clumsiness didn't rear its ugly head so i didn't even fall once. i hate the humps, though. they kind of put me off balance but one day i shall tackle them like ian thorpe cutting through the chlorine waves in a swimming pool and breaking nine world records. that i shall do and maybe ian thorpe would be kind enough to go roller blading with me and we shall hold hands and i shall pretend to fall just so he can hold me in his strong arms.

tomorrow i am going to meet the cranky kkc for lunch and i shall observe him microscopically to see why he's such hot stuff with both men and women. he mentioned that he would be clad rather skimpily tomorrow (singlet and shorts) so i am going to snap snap foto of him. then i shall post it on my blog and we all shall deduce why both genders are so tarik hati with him.

could it be his bulging muscles?

or his short, army-like crew cut?

or maybe it's his brain, that makes the rest of his body look small.

his amplifier-like voice could be another reason.

the lucky tooth, perhaps?

jyajyajyajyayajayjayjayjyajyajyajyajyajyajyajyajyajyajyajya

going to see diana settle in her hall brings back memories of me settling into block j, inti. the worst part was that after my parents left, i felt so LONELY. i didn't feel like making new friends so i stayed in my room and sobbed into my pillow to the beat of atc's "around the world" blasting from block h. that didn't last long now, did it? the sobbing, i mean. not the damn ah beng music, which i presume is still resonating through the quiet town of nilai.

first friend i made? jovell.

first familiar face? kevin.

weirdest moment? being self-conscious hanging my laundry out to dry.

most uncomfortable moment? dinner with jovell and jia zhen for the first time and having nothing to say to each other. dinner with ricky and perryman comes a close second. maybe also first day of class when everyone spoke no english and all mandarin.

most embarrassing moment? NONE. my skin is too thick to be embarrassed. maybe acknowledging pedestrians from kevin's car. THAT'S ALL.

one memory that lingers? pasar malam followed by pronto!

cynthia's coming to visit me tomorrow. the plan is to bulldoze our way through orchard road till we reach somerset.

and maybe bicker a bit about ownership of patrick.

fuiyoh today i went to the zoo and guess who i met?

our chemistry lecturers!

as i age, i gradually lose faith and wonderful cynicism sets in upon my old wrinkled self. my faith in the old big guy above has disappeared and sometimes i feel that my faith in some friends is waning.

but that's not the point.

WARNING [do not read if you are 1) a christian &/or 2) easily offended]

much as i hate to confess this, i was a self-declared christian back when i was in brunei. the school forced us to study religious knowledge (aka christian knowledge) and i was gullible enough to believe the stories from the lord's book. i am quite unashamed to say that i was one of those quiet christians, who didn't bother anyone and sure as hell didn't try to force people to follow the supposed path of light. i said my prayers every night and thanked the lord for everything; for my puppies, for my family, for my house, for my car, for my eyesight, for my room, for boyzone. i tried to be a good person and not commit any sins and strived not to think evil thoughts and promised myself that i would finish reading the bible and wahey i even went to church (forced to la).

as months went by, i became more and more disillusioned about this great religion that i was following. my religious knowledge teacher definitely did not conform to the idea of a good christian. she criticised other religions and there were times when she showed a very nasty side of her, which i believe a christian shouldn't possess in the first place. she was an extremely rude person to other people, especially her students, but when it came to god, she was the complete opposite. when she went into fervent prayer mode, praising and thanking god, jesus, angels, heaven blahblah, i became a tad agitated. (note: up to this day, i have yet to meet a christian whom i really respect as a person and a christian. many times i have seen people proudly bearing the cross around their necks but treating the people around them like dog scum. perhaps it is due to this fact, too, that has led to my extrication from christianity.)

but i digress.

if god is a pure, sinless entity and he wants us to be good, modest and humble people (just like himself), why is it crucial for people to perpetually praise him and worship him? if i don't fall to my knees and heap praises on god, is hell my final destination? is arrogance the ultimate lesson we reap from christianity?

on the other hand, if i am a good person (good meaning i don't harm other living things and i maintain peace within myself and my surroundings), will i be sentenced to eternal fiery pits just because i lack belief in god? the story is i supposedly will go to heaven even though i sin every single day but repent on my last day on earth by accepting god and jesus. hmmm. it seems as though a good heart isn't enough to gain an entry ticket into heaven. that's a bit odd and pretentious, isn't it?

and so, i found myself shifting from being a christian to being an agnostic and it's been that way for seven whole years. sometimes i waver between being an agnostic and an atheist but i will never profess to worshipping someone up there whom i have absolutely no faith in. there are too many loopholes in this religion and the bible for me to firmly believe in the whole christian thing.

ps: do you think god would prefer money donated to a church to have a new wing built so more people can worship him? or he'd prefer christians' hard-earned money being channeled into helping war-stricken countries? a lot of people seem to think the former.

pps: please don't send me hate mail because
1) this is MY blog.
2) i already warned you not to read this post.
3) god doesn't like you to hate people.

on second thought, maybe God really is pure and He treasures a good person above unworthy worships of Himself. and it's His followers who have blown His worshipping out of proportion. if that's the case, maybe this God deserves our faith and devotion.

tyler`(00:59 AM) :
cos u MISS ME SO MUCH

Pat(01:00 AM) :
yes yes i do.....

remember when we went to polly's cafe for lunch? and i was reading chern's book? and i was walking down the stairs? and i wasn't looking at where i was going? and my shoes were slippery? so i slipped down the stairs and went ged-dunk ged-dunk ged-dunk down three steps?

there was a repeat of my stunning performance today at craven cafe, pulau tikus. the 8:34pm show.

this time, i had a bigger audience. and a photographer (marie tan kiak li is going to die a premature death).

the bruise will probably make its appearance tomorrow, i reckon. maybe it won't even appear at all due to my extremely padded behind.

this holiday has been memorable. i've seen all three historic people. granted i had a decent conversation with only one but nontheless, managed to see three. i am a honey-coated sugar plum hangman. muahaha.

i am being plagued by a guilty conscience.

my precioussssssssssss i is reading harry potter #5. great piece of literary work that book is and my heart constricted in jealousy when that ho wanton cho chang kissy kissy liplock with hairy.

picked alicia tan up yesterday and guess where we ended up. i don't like to play guessing games so you don't guess anymore. we went to......

...........

......................

ta-daa! disted-stamford kolej in jalan macalister. we walked up the same flight of stairs we walked up in the year of 2000, went to the physics & chem classrooms, reminisced a lot and went to visit a lot of memory-filled places like:

1) our maths classroom (group B) with mr ooi.

2) the sxi geng maths classroom (group C) with ms nal.

3) the pfs geng maths classroom (group A) with mrs penelope yeap.

4) chern and yao's classroom where almost everyone witnessed the blossoming of love's first bud. ahem.

5) the confrontation classroom (which seems so asinine and puerile now considering what triggered off the confrontation in the first place).

6) the benches where we had to entertain someone after two cowards ran off to seek asylum in 1 stop and left her in our hands.

damn funny man.

if i were a musical instrument, i'd be a bongo drum.

last week, dudley the dalmation was taking a nap in his favourite sun spot in the garage. he was dreaming of being wrapped in layers of mushroom fettucine, the way little kids wrap each other up in toilet paper when they play the ridiculous mummy game.

suddenly, he was startled from his mushroom fettucine dream by the honking of the postman. he drowsily got to his feet and lumbered towards the waiting postman, of the honourable pos malaysia.

"woof!" dudley the dalmation called in greeting.

"i have a registered letter for a dudley the dalmation. ah yes, you must be dudley. sign here, please," said the eloquent, polite postman from pos malaysia (note: this character is not inspired by real life events or persons).

dudley the dalmation grabbed the offered pen with his paws and scrawled his name hollywood-style on the form the postman held out to him.

oh what joy! it was a letter from his cousin, osama the otter, who lived in the swamps of paya terubong!

dudley the dalmation was so excited over the letter than he snatched it away from the postman with his jaws and slobbered over it and chewed it to shreds even before he could read it. that's how excited he was!

have you ever been as excited as that?

i said goodbye to an old friend today. someone i've known since form three. as we parted, i called out "farewell, my friend! may fate dictate that our paths cross again someday!". i didn't say that out loud, though, because people would've thought that i was loco.

and when i was driving on the road today, i stumbled upon the brother of someone who lives in my neighbourhood who shall not be named. my relationship with this brother of someone who lives in my neighbourhood is not very peachy. his face contorted into ugly wrinkles of distaste when he recognised who was behind the car. i, being forever gracious and noble, just gave him a cheery smile and drove off, leaving him to wallow in the poisonous fumes from my car.

two guesses who it was (and the first one doesn't count).

so i have dried durian caked on my fingernails.

i'm sweating like a pig but my nose hasn't stopped running.

i'm driving again!

i've been mildly annoyed about ten thousand times in the last two days.

and i have enough time to change my layout.

aaah sweet wonderful penang.

y'know... i'm almost starting to like jamiroquai again.

(yalah yalah denise is such a major loser. blogging thrice in a day.)

yeah normally, i wouldn't announce this. especially in my blog. but i want to let you all know that i am 3.5kg heavier than before i left for australia. this is all thanks to the binging and coffee and cakes and the cold winds that swayed my hair around like coconut leaves dancing in the moonlight.

and i seemed to have gained an extra chin, an expandable layer of tummy fat and somehow, my jeans seem to be snug. too snug.

quite uncomfortable.

today i met yao for dinner. i was really craving local food, something with good chilli, surprisingly. we ended up at this toa payoh coffee shop and i had the bestest delicious prawn laksa ever until my nose was running and i had no tissue and my milo peng was sucked dry. worth every single cent of my $3.

then we got accosted by this semi-old man who thought we were married (har har) and started garbling away in mandarin so i zoned out and looked at ugly bridal pictures, where the brides wear too much make up and the grooms look as if they'd rather be anywhere else but married to the ugly woman standing beside them. even after telling him that yao and i were cousins, he still asked whether we wanted to look at bridal pictures!

cis berdebar!

*ptooi*

and then we went for sandwiches (for yao only la) and hot chocolate (for me only la) at city hall and we practised our er... stick figure art. -koff-

i bought a kangaroo soft toy for my earl grey tei. but i'm having second thoughts. don't want to seem too brash.

PATRRRIIICCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!! HAHAHAHA i think pat is getting more and more immune to my little outbursts of passion.

wait i want to tell you all hor why you must never sit on MAS (Malaysian Airlines is Stupid) ever again.

not only did they make me wait one and a half hours to check in at the sydney airport, they also seated me next to three buxom giant swedish women who didn't shut up and kept singing stupid songs and moved around so much that the seats kept on jerking to and fro and jerked me along with it for eight hours. i felt the first pounding throes of a very promising headache. (don't get me started about the lousy selection of inflight movies PLUS i couldn't even play tetris or mario properly because my control was spoilt.)

on the connecting flight to singapore, we sat in the motionless aeroplane for over an hour before being told we had to evacuate the aircraft due to "technical problems" and board another aeroplane, which would take another hour to prepare for takeoff. it was around 01 30 at this time and i was still operating on australian time so you can imagine how much my headache was causing a ruckus. i sprawled myself on the hard terminal seats and stared at the ceiling.

at 02 30, the MAS pigs announced that we had to wait another 25 minutes because they had to load the catering onto the aeroplane. so i sprawled somemore until 03 15, when a tired passenger couldn't take it anymore and started shouting at the MAS ground staff. bagus la, got a bit of entertainment. oh and get this, while we were waiting at the gate, they played a documentary on the history of islam. let me tell you that hearing quranic verses at 2am is a surefire way to cheer everyone up and make them feel so perky that they build a campfire and start singing along and clapping hands to the quran chanting.

we finally managed to board the plane at 04 00 and i was so tired and grumpy and in a very foul mood and i wanted to throttle the spastic idiot who apologised for the slight delay. you assholic idiots. when you make people wait for 4 hours, without any food or regular updates on what's going on, you cannot expect to get away with an insincere apology for the slight delay.

wait, my story doesn't end there.

on the aeroplane, i witnessed my first ever air rage! an ang moh passenger had too much to drink and he started harrassing another ang moh passenger. other passengers (ang moh la) had to separate the two men and there were a lot of harsh words exchanged. at this point, you could see the skinny puny asian men shrinking in their seats. malaysian style la.. cannot campur masuk hal yang melibati lelaki dua kali ganda saiz.

here are some photos.

a picture i managed to take before i passed out from seasickness


a picture i managed to take before i passed out from lack of sleep


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i hate whales.