am now sitting comfortably in donks' loft, clad in my polar bear pyjamas. her stupid yappy pomeranian left giant furballs and gooey globs of saliva on my sweater PLUS a big scratch mark on my left hand. death to all pomeranians, i say! golden retrievers should take over the world!

within an hour of my landing in sydney, donks took me to scare hai lin. i seem to have mastered the art of popping up unexpectedly and scaring the bejeezus out of my friends. kevin screamed in terror when i woke him up, my ms jumped in fright when i bulldozed into him and hai lin almost fainted from fear and joy. hue hue hue btw, sydney's temperature is way tahanable than melbourne's. i'm only wearing one layer now, compared to the five in melbourne.

melbourne was fun. i was just about beginning to familiarise myself with the darn place and the trams then mana tahu have to leave liao. spent my last few hours doing touristy stuff like eating at the causeway and going to the library and federation square. chit wai, lexie and ms were darling enough to see me off at spencer station, whatever it's called. thanks so much for the wonderful hospitality, you guys (cyn, kev, ms, lexie, jimmy, chit wai, gwen & mei ling). i only hope i can reciprocate it sufficiently when you guys masuk my sars-infected turf.

it's 2AM where i'm at now. i think i distinctly heard donks say she wanted a dim sum breakfast. off to bed i go.

ps: clayton must be a real exciting place, considering the fact that jimmy is so reluctant to leave it. must be the unending supply of 4G porn that they have there, eh gramps?

i want to give all my melbournian friends a big hug.

*squeezes everyone to imaginary giant bosom*

thanks to those of you who took extra special care of me. muax.

HAHAHAHHAHA off to sydney i goooooo!

ps: non-incriminating pictures will be posted soon when i go back to singapore.

wow i've just woken up. my socks came out halfway at night so my feet were clenched together in frozen unhappiness when i woke up. i think my toenails have turned a purty shade of light blue.

but today is better la. i wore 3 layers to sleep and managed to survive. and yah i dem HERO. i took a bath at midnight. with water and everything! ya, man! someone award me something. anything!

oh ya and if any one of you scoundrels dares spoil the harry potter ending for me, i will hunt you down and stalk you. let me warn you that my stalking tends to instill fear in most people.

right, patrick?

five freaking layers to sleep. plus gloves. plus thick socks. plus snow cap. that's how cold i was.

how come singapore suddenly so cold wan?

hallo hallo. first of all, thank you to yao, mrs. prof teo and mr. xena for gracing my restaurant with their delightful company. it warmed my heart to see the two young men polish off the food on their plates and i bet that if it wasn't a restaurant, yao would've licked the plate clean. i could see him itching to scrape off the crepe suzette sauce with his tongue.

ho hum ho hum tomorrow will be a busy day. but that's tomorrow. let me tell you what i did today, this being a blog and all.

i went to orchard and helped a friend shop for work clothes. and get this, yesterday, i went to orchard and helped my sister shop for work clothes. is that like totally dejavu or is it like totally not dejavu?!

it was kind of hard not to nurture the optimistic beliefs that mayling was drilling into my head this afternoon. but a pessimist i am and a pessimist i shall stay! for good reason too, i might add. jay3 will always remain a friend. no matter how bastardlike he is when he gets his period. ho ho.

i think it's strange that some people can heap so much criticism on other people but they get so fidgety and touchy when other people reciprocate their criticism. say it, don't spray it, dudette. all the kellies in the world should be replaced by britneys. i'm talking funny because it's 5AM and i think i should go to sleep now.

hally potters is out now! go to your nearest bookstore and queue up for fifteen hundred muggle hours to read about the adventures of a boy wizard on the brink of puberty who can do wonderful things with his wand (but only because there's a pheonix feather in it).

apparently, these are selling like hot cakes in marks and spencer. i bought a packet and shared it with four people. *beams*

omg aaron kwok is like the chinese version of ricky martin. or ricky martin's the latin version of aaron kwok.

fuiyoh.

hooked on a song called "wishes", the le couple version by this chick called camomile. i remember, however, that this song is sung in japanese too. any help in naming the original singer would be much appreciated.

aargh. i can't stand the silent torture of my phone any longer.

does reading about other people's pimples induce a horrible mushrooming of pimples on YOUR own face? i swear.. after i read chern's laments about her pimples, i had four sprout on my face the next day! my hands itchy itchy go and pop and now i've got little scabs dotting my face. not a pretty sight. i'd hide my face in a potato sack but it seems as if it's more socially acceptable to walk around with pus-filled growths on one's face, rather than hide it in a potato sack that will mask every blemish, blackhead, oily t-zone, big nose, acne scars, hairy moles, bad teeth, overgrown nose hair, etc.
.
today, my boss left after lunch to go collect her maid from the agency. the minute she sauntered out of the door, one colleague immediately plonked his head on the table and took a nap, another whipped out her laptop and began to play some wizard game and yours truly went bloghopping. aaah... the sheer joy we felt when the wretched woman disappeared. we call her voldemort, you know? she's one of the most vile women i know. she likes to talk (read: boast) about her altruistic activities and how she's so big-hearted and how people always step all over her because she's too nice. i tried to hold back my snorts of disbelief.

*snorts in disbelief*

oh dang it, another pimple's growing.

Jolly good, wot! Anyone for tennis? That'll be ten ponies, guv. You're the epitome of everything that is english. Yey :) Hoist that Union Jack!

How British are you?

why do people gape in awe and amazement when i whip out my kleenex travel pack tissue paper? sure it may be bigger than your average packet tissue paper but i don't understand the response it elicits from some people i.e. bulging eyeballs, "wtf is that?" expression, etc.

toa payoh is a um... quiet community. sometimes the peace is broken by people who kentut and wait for you to smell the noxious fumes before admitting their heinous deed. it's people like this who disgrace toa payoh! plus those who blatantly sell (and buy) porn in the corner of hawker centres.

yao and i wanted to get jimmy a few porn cds as a gift but there was this big fat indian man shamelessly browsing the porn section and we didn't really think it'd be wise to disturb him. confucious once said never to disturb big fat indian man shamelessly browsing porn section because the sky will fall and your saliva will start to taste like brinjal.

i can't wait for the weekend to come! this is how i feel every single week when i'm in the office, but this weekend will be different. and people who fail insurance tests either have brains the size of an ant's or brains the size of a termite's. i dunno, you pick the one you like better.

i have a lot of laundry to do. i spilt chocolate ice cream on my jacket just now. it's kinda sticky.

a long time ago, a very good friend told me to download michelle branch's goodbye to you and he predicted that if i should listen to the song and its poignant lyrics, i would bawl like a baby, just like he did. me, being discreet and sensitive, shall not name him.

i scoffed at his words.

but here i am now, listening to that song. no la, not crying. but feeling a bit sentimental. get this, i'm in such a sentimental mood that celine dion's my heart will go on is languishing in my playlist. but michelle branch is on repeat now for the timebeing.

i have a feeling that nothing will happen till i come back from penang. maybe never. sigh. what to do?

my brilliant genius plan has been foiled!! i don't want to name he-who-must-not-be-named-who-foiled-my-brilliant-genius-plan but i would like to tell mr teo jin yao that i will relish skinning him alive the next time we meet (provided that i expand to ten times his size within that period).

went to work today and gah! so many rude customers, so little time to stare evilly at them. there was this woman this afternoon with enough lip gloss on her lips to have a starring role in the next neptune cooking oil commercial. she was damn rude, ordering me around like her servant. ugly wanton tart with equally ugly paunchy boyfriend/lover/pimp.

oh haha today i was shoving chicken strips into my mouth and jace comes up to me and he says the most hilarious thing. he says to me "denise, maybe you should try to eat more... er.. delicately," and he says it like he didn't really want to say it but had to say it, if you know what i mean. but it was obvious that he was joking because he sort of gave a nervous chuckle after saying that. HAHAHAH like okay, it wasn't like i was tearing the meat viciously apart with my bare hands and teeth. i just stuffed the whole damn chicken strip in and when i replied "haha jace, you're a funny guy!", bits of chicken crumbs flew out of my mouth, like cooked confetti.

that jace always cracks me up. la la la la

gee i hope the popped boil on elliot's buttocks heal properly. it must hurt when he clenches his butt cheeks.

oh ya i will be back in penang 2nd week of july. unreasonable restrictions have been lifted. just have to get this darn internship over and done with before i go sailing home to the blue waters of batu ferringhi. alicia tan, wait for me!

i am so hyped up. excited, if you will.

the thing is i don't want to be so hyped about it only to have it unhyped for me. y'know? you wait all week for something to happen, and when it finally does, it doesn't turn out the way it's supposed to be and whoosh! everything swirls down the drain of disappointment.

it's like you're about to go out with this guy you really like. and before the date, your excitement and trembling sensations build up. when you finally meet him, he somehow manages to ruin whatever exciting preconceived notions you had with his halitosis.

or dirty fingernails.

or bad complexion.

or his lack of ability to be a conversationalist.

or perhaps his kiamsiapness.

stuff like that, y'know?

but in this case, i highly doubt something like this will happen.

wheeeee!!

malini d/o mahalingam waves fond hellos from karnataka, india. she wishes to inform the whole lot of you (especially teo jin yao) that she never said anything about er.. "finding" an indian guy of immaculate proportions ("i would never say such a thing!", she exclaimed indignantly) but she sure as hell remembers her derogatory remark about someone's nose ("the more u dislike someone, the uglier that person becomes to you," she remarked sagely).

she'll be moving to malacca at the end of september and she's still single. :)

by publishing this information, i hope none of you ask me "eh, how's mal?" the next time we meet. just because you guys don't make the effort to keep in touch with her doesn't mean that i'm going to do it on your behalfs.

but i just did! hahaha!

i think i'm starting to look old. the chappie at starbucks as well as the security guards at school call me "ma'am". what the hell man? pretty soon, teenagers will be giving up their seats for me on the mrt. and i'll be able to buy senior concession ez link cards and start collecting my pensyen.

a heightened sense of awareness
a new level of agitated consciousness
a deeper pit of anxiety
a more unnatural being
swoosh
the ball flies to my side
i duck and it bounces away
byebye ball
bastard.

sorry la, this is me trying to be deep ala you know who.

finding nemo isn't excellently superb. nor is it downright kiss-my-ass-i-want-my-money-back. it's skewed towards well-now-this-ain't-too-bad stuff. y'know.. on the same rung as harry potter CoS, maybe about five rungs higher than bruce almighty. i don't want to say more lest i ruin the movie for some of you but do watch out for the "fish are our friends" meeting with the three sharks. haha. that was a classic.

i would say, however, that finding nemo is heaps better than monsters inc but it fails to exceed the beauty that is toy story 1. i warn you not to watch it if the cinema is packed with kids because their laughter sometimes has the tendency to drown out certain snippets of dialogue, thus causing you to frustratingly miss several punchlines.

i am so geram with everything now. people say one thing, mean another, do something else, make me so mad i feel like throttling them and flipping them in the air like roti canai (or prata, as they call it here in singapore). yalah yalah whatever lah. sometimes things turn out so ironically i can't help but snort in disdain.

as for you! you feckless worthless piece of horse manure. i don't want anything to do with you liao. you can go take your worthless career, stick it up your nose and snort it into your brain like rotten marijuana. could never get the hang of the game. don't think i want to anymore.

for some strange reason, mum thinks i lust after a waiter from fosters. peh. you gotta be kidding me. is this the part where i go haha and roll my eyes?

something's wrong with my palm. it won't switch on. damn damn double damn.

hei se you mo hei se you mo

an object in possession seldom retains the same charm that it had in pursuit.
-Caius Plinius-

the two of you who know me very well may be familiar with my overly obsessive, very intensive stalker routine when some guy has been unfortunate enough to catch my eye. from leering lasciviously through his window, to leaving my body prints on his car, to dropping clumsily disguised notes at his window to walking all the way to starbucks and back on the pretense of buying a frappucino but actually to sneak a peek at him, all said activities have been carried out with much enthusiasm and joy (on my part, anyway). of course, being quite an expert stalker, the intended stalkee has no inkling of my stealthing activities unless i go overboard (which has only happened once... once, damnit!).

anyway, my point is... actually i don't have a point to make. i met my current stalkee at holland village just now. and when i was sitting there, sipping my milo peng demurely, i plunged into deep thought (which happens very rarely). while he was shoving rice into his mouth, i was thinking of the reasons why he became my stalkee. not only is he an atypical singaporean (i.e. he's not kiam siap, calculative or over ambitious), but he makes me cackle in wicked mirth and i can hold a decent conversation with him. however, there's just no hope. i am a nohopestalker.

i am thinking that four and a half months is quite a long time to be stalking someone. i shall put an end to this unhealthy hobby of mine and concentrate more on my glitzy career. then when i am rich and famous, i shall buy his love with glittering diamonds and a holiday resort in bali.

there really is no point to this post. only that i've had enough of stalking. it's getting a bit boring, really.

*cue endless loop of new radicals' someday we'll know*

i know she doesn't read my blog but i just want to wish a joyous 21st birthday to miss malini mahalingam.

hallo hallo typing this from the stuffy confines of my office. i'm supposed to do a lesson on inflected ends but my brain is chugging along at the speed of a turtle with athritis.

tyler`: u mean when u hung out with me, cyn and jovell.. we never revived your feminine instincts?
Hevok: ahhaa nope
Hevok: u all dem violent

what a nice thing for diabolique to say. oh ya a lot of you have asked me whether my um.. cryptic posts are directed at khoo. no, they're not. please don't ever think that again.

oh no big boss just silently walked out. die die die.

congratulations. you've managed to crawl your way out of your shithole into another one, albeit a more shallow one. i knew you'd call me this morning and i'm genuinely happy for you, even though i don't feel that what you're doing defines you. just don't forget us, mmmkay?

X2 wasn't as kickass or mindblowing as i'd expected it to be. too many characters led to too much dilution. i'm glad mystique finally became less googly-eyed and was capable of showing teensy flits of emotion. cracked me up when i saw rebecca romijn-stamos because it reminded me of terminator 2, the superfantastic musical.

dim sum, the perfect transition to the sex scene.

saw the trailer for the hulk the other day. looks a bit too cgi-ish. someone come with me to watch ju-on! my regular movie buddy has gone on strike.

what's playing on winamp? jay chou (no surprise) - hui dao guo qu