hello everyone.

i just overdosed on jay zhou mtvs.

i am about to overdose on jay zhou mp3s.

i am now hunting for men who wear singlets and caps pulled low over their eyes and can play both the piano and cello and look sexy at the same time.

proficiency in english is not a requirement but must have basic comprehension of words such as "lie back" and "strip".

interested applicants please leave your name and phone number in the comments box. i will pay well.

what's playing on winamp? jay zhou jie lun - kai bu liao kou

yesterday when i was waiting for the frustratingly slow lift to come i noticed a poster stuck on the wall and the contents of the poster were a picture of a jack and king and a url and i was thinking to myself that maybe it was a locally-based escort service and made a mental note to check it out but i forgot to until today and all i can say is that singaporeans don't think singaporeans have much when it comes to mate-finding. anyway i know someone who'll enjoy this site (cue kevin and diana to snigger with me) but too bad he's not in the same geographical region to enjoy the services offered by heartsandspades.

work is fine and pei li just went down to buy supper and i tumpang-ed her to buy me qoo white grape which is an overhyped overpriced diabetic drink which i shouldn't be drinking in the first place since i have clean tapwater but i am afraid that i have been suckered by an evil devilry which many people refer to as marketing. say it with me, children and make sure you roll your 'r's... marketing also known as conning, deceiving and making people lose their sense of autonomy.

yay i'm going to major in marketing.

check out this pic of my little bro.

ok bye.

what's playing on winamp? amy mastura - kasih

but i still love jay.

today i made a fool out of myself by joining mass hordes of girls pumping and grinding to nelly's hot in herre and yeah i joined a hip hop dance class and i enjoyed myself not only because i didn't care how much of an idiot i looked but also i loved the feeling that i was shaking my worries away by shaking my bon bon nigga style.

i had work today and this man left a $10 tip and yati couldn't stop smiling when she stuffed it down our tips box which is usually full of coins that the cheapskate singaporeans leave behind and it's the ang mohs who prefer the silent rustle of paper money.

today on the way home from work i got chased by three cockroaches down the street but they didn't attack me altogether. they hid themselves separately and ambushed me in three different places and i wanted to step on them but the thought of getting my shoes dirty made me stop in time. besides i don't like the squilching sound whenever i stomp on an insect full of gooey bug juice.

what's playing on winamp? Nelly - Hot In Herre

help me i'm turning into a full fledged hongkie pop fan i like jay chow and i have his songs looping in my winamp and i downloaded one of his videos (an hao) and have been looping that on my realplayer. i don't understand one word that escapes that perfect mouth but that's okay because i'm always looking at his beautiful long fingers which are made more beautiful when he pounds them on the piano.

i am a disgrace to my community. i beg forgiveness from you all. and a heartfelt apology goes out to britney for being shoved aside rudely to make way for my heavenly king of Mandarin pop/hip hop.

oh no i think i'm forgotton how to spoke the english already.

what's playing on winamp? Zhou Jie Lun & Wen Lan - Wu Ding

i am smitten with this man.

i just watched sugababes' round round video and all i can say is that they're britney-wannabes with their cleavage a-spilling out of their faux leather outfits and they probably know that that's the best they can imitate britney because they can't dance and all they did was gyrate on this wheel and normally on any girl (even oprah winfrey) gyrating on a rotating wheel to a quite good song wearing faux leather with maximum cleavage would be sexy but somehow the sugababes can't carry it off and i had to close my eyes in embarassment for them. good try though.

what's playing on winamp? beyond - hoi fut tin hong

hmm i made another waitress blooper today i should've felt really embarassed but knowing me and my thick skin i just shrugged it off and chalked it up to another one of "things that will inevitably happen to denise once she starts working as a waitress and has to stare at good food all day and not be allowed a bite" and because of that somehow my brain just goes haywire and all the nerve endings and neurons and whatever my brain supposedly contains gets disconnected.

tall, not-so-handsome gwailo man with blue eyes : blah blah blah ... order to go?
short, dishevelled me with roast beef gravy stain on apron: yes? you mean how many more orders to go?
tall, not-so-handsome gwailo man with blue eyes : blah blah blah ... order to go?
short, dishevelled me with roast beef gravy stain on apron: as in how many more orders to go before we bring out yours? checks order form er ... two, sir! and i hold up two fingers.

tall, not-so-handsome gwailo man with blue eyes blinks his blue eyes and then turns to another waitress.

tall, not-so-handsome gwailo man with blue eyes : (clearly) can i have my order to go?
short, dishevelled me with roast beef gravy stain on apron : *&&(#$()*&@)(!*&)(@$*&#$

and today i gave the wrong soup to the wrong people and only realised it when i walked away but i couldn't take the soup back because they'd already started to slurp so i prayed fervently that they wouldn't be able to distinguish between mushroom soup and clam chowder.

mana tahu singaporean taste buds so sensitive.

oh ya and i accidentally sneezed into this guy's lobster bisque but he didn't notice so i also pretended not to notice that i'd just sneezed a million germs into his lobster bisque. hyuk hyuk

happy mid-autumn festival to you and make sure you get genuine lanterns, not the battery-operated ones.

what's playing on winamp? oasis - champagne supernova

Are you an alpha, beta, or gamma girl?

according to the nice people at cleo who bring you the annual 50 most eligible bachelors (which is a load of crap when it comes to malaysia), a sexy man is

Silly (guys that make you laugh)
Smart
Sensitive (men who are creative, community-minded or just plain caring)
Sporty
Spunky (just plain hot!)

to find 1 is difficult. to find 50 is damn near impossible.

what's playing on winamp? emma bunton - take my breath away

has your perception of someone ever changed because of maybe what someone told you about them or you saw them doing something or you found out something about them? and this may not be in an entirely negative context it could be positive too but i'm phrasing it as if it's negative, aren't i?

hello hello i've just come back from my first ever paid job yes yes denise has finally decided to fend for herself financially and right now if u need me on friday, saturday or sunday, drop by holland village which is in singapore and you'll see me asking people if they'd like some dessert or whether they'd like their water topped up or whether they want the air conditioning turned down.

yes yes i'm a waitress in a cafe and the pay is alright and i get to see how a restaurant works like how they kill their cockroaches in the kitchen and here's a clue they don't use ridsect or any insecticide. the pay's alright and the people there are really friendly but i still felt a bit new and awkward. and i got to do all these cool waitress stunts like there was this couple having an argument and the girl was staring very angrily into the guy's twitching eyeballs and any normal person would have left them some privacy and not barge in but i just sashayed my way to them and asked very politely with the fakest of all fake smiles"are u done? can i clear the table? would you like coffee tea dessert?" hoho then the girl started to stare angrily into my twitching eyeballs but she couldn't do anything to me because i hadn't brought them their dessert yet.

ok that's about it. i'm quite tired now after standing around for 5 hours attending to people's needs and whims. some people can be so fussy and today i got confused when a guy asked for his bill i brought him a beer stupid ah beng can't roll his tongue properly haha i'm kidding about bringing him the beer but i was about to but luckily my mistake was rectified just in time.

what's playing in winamp? collective soul - needs

........................................................

what's playing on winamp? milky - just the way you are

we had to stay back in school after marketing class today to finish up our quantitative methods project and as you all know most students usually go home after evening classes but we didn't and the school felt really empty and it had this weird echo when we walked down the corridor and it was then that i turned on my halloween mode.

i know mei ling is really really scared of anything remotely related to the supernatural and i can't even tell her a quarter of a ghost story without her covering her ears and asking me very nicely to shut up while she prays. anyway mei ling, audrey and i decided to pay the little girls' room a visit while kuan and yuh chuan pondered the beauty that is qm and this particular toilet that we went to is relatively huge compared to the other toilets we have to cram into and it's got this huge empty space where they could've slotted in about three more cubicles but instead opted to fill that empty space with a single solitary hand dryer.

so we had already emptied what we came to empty and were washing our hands at the sink when i stop and through the mirror i start to stare peculiarlay at the empty space where the hand dryer is and remarked very casually to audrey eh do you feel like there's something in the toilet? not something but more like a presence? audrey starts to nod her head and suddenly i feel someone grab my shoulders in a vice-like grip and no it wasn't a pontianak it was my friend mei ling who at this point had her eyes shut tight and was whimpering and was pushing me frantically towards the door.

but the story doesn't end there, my friends. we were walking down the long silent corridor back to the seminar room and audrey met her friends and started talking to them while mei ling and i walked ahead. i suddenly hear my name being called and no again it wasn't a pontianak but it was audrey and i gave a scream because she was running and i always scream when i see people running in my general direction because i always think that they'll fly straight into me and mei ling mistook my scream for a scream of the haunted and gave this bloodcurdling scream that chilled me to the bone and proceeded to dig her fingernails very deeply into my hand, tugging me towards kuan and yuh chuan. and when she screamed audrey started to scream and i screamed because i didn't know what they were screaming about and that scared me. right now i've got three crescent-shaped marks embedded in my hand and i think i should get mei ling a nailclipper for thanksgiving.

and yes, i really do feel something in that particular toilet like i know there's something there but whatever it is doesn't seem threatening so i'll leave it be and rumour has it that my school used to be some hospital during the world war but don't people say that about every old building?

i tried to send kevin some scary recorded voice thing that i found on the internet that went something like don't look behind you might not like what you see but that chicken said he'd open it in the morning where there's bright sunlight and the possibility of him being scared by something behind him in daylight is not as high as at night. anyway good luck for today and don't forget to send me a piccie of your mutilated skin. :) (ps: your parents don't read my blog do they?)

what's playing on winamp? soluna - for all time

picture one
this is the boyzone keychain i have attached to my pencil box which i've had since form 4 i think. i still use it not because i still love boyzone which i still do but because it makes opening my zipper of a pencil box a little easier and it looks funky when turned the other side so the word boyzone isn't visible and people don't think i'm a dork from the late nighties who's into boybands from the late nineties. i love ronan!

picture 2
this is the tissue which i bought in bulk because i have running nose in bulk well this tissue helps me absorb the running nose that runs out and it's also very efficient at wiping spilt milo when i drip it onto the table. this brand of tissue i highly recommend because it's super-absorbent and i bought it at a sale for S$2 for a pack of three with one pack containing about 12 little packets. i didn't know the politcally correct word for tissue is paper handkerchief so sincere apologies to all offended tissues.


picture 3
this is my favourite pic because it shows part of a room which i spend 3 hours a day sometimes 5 1/2 hours with one professor and about twenty other people. this prof is mr cecil duncan macrae as mentioned below and it was taken when ethics was about to end and i had to mention that for the benefit of my parents who are reading this blog just in case they misassume that i spend my class time snapping useless pictures of professors. anyway my friend and i had a disgareement over the girl who's sitting in the background with her head cocked he says she looks like lydia sum i say she doesn't because lydia sum doesn't wear that much makeup.

*fyi i don't own a digital camera for these pictures i borrowed michael's and i want a nifty sony digital cam like his and my birthday's coming soon and i hope you nice kind-hearted readers know how to take hints well. oh you do? then go here.

just came back from scouring holland village with debs and shin and it was darn crowded today being a sunday and all but we managed to do what we wanted to do and in the end ended up having dinner at windmill where debs and shin had very tasty spaghetti and i was stuck with the semi-raw acid-like roast beef where not only was the beef raw but so was the jagung that was part of my mix vegetables. stabbing my roast beef was fun because every time my fork poked the roast beef a spurt of blood would gush out like a little waterfall so that's what i did to entertain myself whilst debs and shin slurped up their spaghetti no i'm kidding of course i would never play with my food not only is it distasteful it's rude to play with something that will give one nourishment but i think the beef will give me diarrheaoa instead of healthy vitamins and minerals.

when we were walking around we entered a pet shop and i found out that siberian huskies is spelt likewise and not with a 'y' like i spelt it below. the puppies were so cute and i got scolded not really scolded but reprimanded by a man who is not only an ah beng but the store salesman just because i overstepped the boundary to touch the golden retriever cruelly enclosed in an itsy bitsy space. there were cats too but i think all cats are ugly except for misha down there so cynthia please don't kill me because i do love cats but not as house pets.

me and pei li got to talking one night about college green and we found out that we both had seen and heard certain things in our house that we didn't want to mention to each other before lest we scare the bejeezus out of each other that's why i'm glad i moved out of the ancient college that is green and am now putting up where i am now. i did feel a little uneasy when i was there especially when i was alone in the house but i always tried to ignore whatever i was feeling so i wouldn't feel scared and in some way that worked and i don't think i should elaborate further because it is the hungry ghost festival and you all are little boys and girls who should not even be reading this blog in the first place.

you're so cute yes you are.

what's playing on winamp? dave matthews band - where are you going

wow check it out i got myself a flooble so people don't have to go through so much trouble to click on the comments link and wait for the thing to pop up because i know the yaccs server has been not itself lately.

i just saw two syberian huskies today at coffeebean in holland village and they're really beautiful creatures with beautiful blue eyes but what are they doing in such a tropical country like singapore because the only time i've ever seen them is in the snowy wilderness and that was on tv or that new cuba gooding jr show whatever it's called my memory's failing me.

i can't help it for unfathomable reasons i have to put a piccie of misha up here doing his business because every time i see it always crack up imagining him straining his little cat muscles. ah good boy.

what's playing on winamp? indecent obsession & mari hamada - fixing a broken heart

read about misha the wondercat here and laugh at his un-catlike stance as he uses the toilet.

after living here for approximately one year i think it's safe to say on my part that there are essentially (notice i could have used the word basically instead of essentially but i think basically has been overused and i get so sick of people using it that i immediately turn off if people use basically in their conversation or presentations) two types of singaporean chicks and i'm sure there are girls that hover between the types but let's not get into that now because if we did, my hands would get tired from all the pecking of keys.

the first singaporean is the beach one or the wannabe beach one whereby she's tanned she's got bonded hair usually dyed some brownish colour to make her look a bit more ang moh and her feet are always thonged and she's always got tanned lines from her swimsuit. if u burrow through her wardrobe she has to have at least one pair of fugly hawaiian shorts that she'll pair off with some sexy tight spaghetti straps and these girls are the ones that annoy me the most because they're the ones that usually have great bodies and they know it and they don't hesitate to flaunt it and i am so jealous of their tan and their thick highlighted hair but let's not get into that too.

the second type of singaporean is the ahlean who is into flair jeans and also has dyed hair but their hair is usually lighter coloured and they like coloured sunnies and they usually speak mandarin and drink bubble tea and are so perky and have the little handphone keychain thing hanging from their phones and oh yes we musn't forget the platform shoes. they're always smsing and everytime they move there'll always be a bell tring a linging somewhere be it from their bracelet their earrings their anklets their handphones their keychains their bags. they're noisy people who like to wear pouches like ah bengs but their pouches come in different patterns like zebra, leapord and even snake skin all faux of course.

i know that i should be the last person on earth to generalise people but you can't blame me for being bored on a friday morning when i've got nothing to do and my clothes are hanging out to dry and pei li's eyelash just fell in her eye and i feel kinda scared for her because her eye's all red and teary now.

what's playing on winamp? atomic kitten - eternal flame

today debs and i watched Ti2 also known as temptation island nombor dua and it's such a bitchy show and i'm definitely not going to miss the rest of the episodes so all my thursday nights are fully booked from this day on. all the guys are hunks and the girls are of questionable beauty but who cares about the girls because it's the guys guys guys that make the show prime time on my list. the participants are so fake the way they go "oh my darling and i have been together since god knows when we know each other inside out i trust him and he trusts me and no matter what we'll stick together no matter how beautiful the other girls are or if the guys have ten pecs i'm still going to go back to my honey bunny sugar muffin sweetie chocolate chip cookie raspberry ripple flavoured ice cream cone at the end of twenty something days". someone gag me.

riding singaporean buses is fun because the bus is such a confined space and i can hear all sorts of conversations around me and all i have to do is filter out the rest and keep my ears open for the really interesting ones like today's where this guy was boasting that he knew the lifeguard in so and so and he swims so and so laps and he cycled up and down sixth avenue and that was the one i tuned out. i once sat behind this guy and he was smsing his girlfriend and i stretched my neck to see what he was msging and i hope he didn't notice because he could see my reflection in the mirror but what he said was i miss you so much i soooo feel like hugging you now and at that point i let out a little sigh and he turned around so i guess he finally found out i was reading over his shoulder so i just got off at the next stop, which coincidentally was my stop.

mummy, how come you never email me?

what's playing on winamp? paul oakenfold - starry eyed surprise

oh i've been inundated by numerous requests to update my blog actually it was only one request but one is a number and should fall under the "numerous" minus the b category shouldn't it.

but i'm sorry i can't attend to this request because nothing interesting enough has been happening in my life for me to blog about and isn't that nice because now that shows that denise hardly has interesting enough things happening in her life for her to blog about. if you want something to read go to kevin's blog where my mother apparently caused a ruckus just by signing in his comments box and everyone started adopting this "god forbid my mother read my blog because i write about things she doesn't know about in colourful language" attitude and started to nyek nyek nyek in there which is quite interesting because everyone doesn't want their mother to read their blog.

i just made a roundabout comment.

shin just came back with my lunch and he bought me the wrong flavoured qoo i only drink white grape and he bought the weird tasting orange one but i have to make an effort to drink it anyway because he did make the effort to go down and buy food.

watcha all think about the .gif file up there i know it's a bit grainy but i'm not an arty farty student and us high and mighty business students never dabble in the arty farty world (no matter how much we want to) so do forgive the wannabe arty farty theme i tried my .gif to convey. if you have a problem with it like i've copyrighted your art and want me to take it down or just because it spoils the ambience of the blog, let me know but i won't do anything about it because it took me a long time to get that damn thing up there in the almost correct size.

what's playing on winamp? nothing but shin's is playing that crappy techno ah beng butterfry song aie yai yai i'm a litter butterfry

last night when i was halfway studying ethics i went out to the living room and shin was there and pei li decided to join us. we just sat there and didn't say anything but i had my ethics book and my highlighter and was trying to seem extremely intelligent by quoting from my ethcial issues in business textbook until i saw the spaced out looks on pei li and shin's faces.

so we decided to play with leng leng and chin chin by lifting the barrier that separates the both of them and make them fight until the end the end being until one of them dies. i could see shin was really reluctant to see his $4 go down the drain so i tried to placate him by saying him that i'd buy him another fish if one actually died but i doubted it at that time because they're just fish they don't have razor sharp teeth or axes or chainsaws.

so we lifted the barrier and were treated to ten seconds of vicious swiping and flapping of fins until debbie came out of her room and saw what we were doing and started shrieking like a banshee with a sore throat denise what do you think you're doing you're so cruel mum says you love animals and you're letting the fish kill each other i'm going to tell mummy i'm going to report the three of you to RSPCA and then she stomped off to her room and i felt really guilty because at this time, a snippet of leng leng's fin was lying at the bottom of the tank. so we put the barrier back and then as a sign of compensation to leng leng for missing 1/10th of its fin, i fed it some worms and right now, because of me, leng leng is swimming lopsidedly and yes, i do feel guilty because i think i may have destroyed leng leng's chance of living a long and healthy fruitful prosperous life.

the ethics test was okay but i think it was rather ironic that during the ethics test i could see some students blatantly copying off one another but who cares because the professor probably thought all of us were mature enough to not cheat but he was wrong haha. i always laugh when he says the word 'duties' because it's the same way said in one episode of friends where chandler goes for a job interview and the manager pronounces 'duties' as 'doodies' so every time my prof says 'duties' i always have this mental image one can usually see here, the most distasteful site in the whole cyberworld.

i have to bathe.

what's playing on winamp? standfast - no longer

i just got back from school yes i did and it was dark and i had to go up the lift myself and i had my laptop and my heavy cat textbook so if i had to run very fast and very far away it would have been difficult.

but there was no need to.

dinner was the remainder of the hong kong noodles which tasted much better after being kept in the fridge for a day. after that, i watched leng leng tear a hole in chin chin's tail. ah, the gory that is fish fighting. i hope shin doesn't notice.

i have an ethics test tomorrow and the funny thing is that the ethics we learn isn't about moral it's more philosophical like whether we should apply consequentialism or utilitarianism in this or that situation. my prof is mr cecil duncan macrae and he's from scotland but he moved to washington and he looks like santa claus with no hair but he's a very nice patient man whose wife is also teaching in the same university but she's teaching quantitative methods, not ethics. but i don't see the point of studying ethics because no one uses ethics in the business world. no one ever stops in the middle of making a business decision to ponder on whether they should follow immanuel kant's word or john locke's. in fact, business and ethics are on the opposite side of whatever sides they're on.

it's time to study. maybe i should take a bath first.

what's playing on winamp? badly drawn boy - something to talk about

am in school now waiting for my cat professor to drop by and instill in me 3 hours of knowledge. there's no electricity now and it's dark and my laptop's going to die any moment soon.

hello prof. he's here. he's so cute. i bet he was a nerd in high school because he's a nerd now. he's really cute when he stammers.

managed to solve the case study. oh he's starting.

i have to write this down before i forget. diana finally has a co-author in her "guiness book of stupid questions" publication.

i was making milo in the kitchen and debs was there. shin appeared at the doorway and asked

"do you think they need vaccination?"

at which point i looked at debs, debs looked at me and we both looked at shin.

because what he was referring to wasn't a dog. a cat. a hamster. nay, not even a human.

he was talking about his two $2 fighting fish, leng leng and chin chin, who eat worms for breakfast, lunch and dinner and have no need for vaccination because all they do all day is swim around in their container and their fins don't even come into contact with anything that may cause potential death like yellow fever or measles.

diana, meet shin. shin, this is diana.

i like shin's fish more than debs'. they're more aggresive and fun to watch. i just watched leng leng almost tear chin chin's body apart. mimi, mini and momo just swim around like normal, placid fish.

what is winamp playing? nothing because it's late at night and the walls are thin.

went downstairs to do some banking at my friendly, local DBS branch and stumbled upon a cocker spaniel and a kitty cat having a staring war with each other. the dog's warm chocolate brown eyes did nothing to melt the cold, blue piercing gaze of the cat and in the end, the dog skulked away.

kudos to the cat. i gave it a congratulatory pat on its head.

checked my account. fresh deposit. yum. then went to order hong kong noodles from my friendly, local hawker centre. double yum.

as i type, i am trying desperately to shove the noodles down my throat. finished the first quarter of the box with ease and looks like it's going to take me a long time to get through the remaining 3/4. guzzled white grape qoo and it only made me more full. i am thinking that my hong kong noodles will go into the fridge. stupid singaporeans. what makes them think i can finish such a huge portion and how dare they charge me S$4 for it?

am going to stay up late tonight.

what's winamp playing? our lady peace - life

someone help me with my hong kong noodles. please.