it never ceases to sicken me at how some people can go overboard. it's not merely the act of going overboard, it's also the depth of overboard-ness. cocky people who swagger around and think they can say anything they want to, like they're some kind of omnipotent superpower, are one in a three hundred thousand two hundred and sixty eight and i have the much-envied pleasure of being acquainted with TWO.

bloody hell.

on a much brighter, less reflective note, jimmy had a birthday dinner/disted gathering at berjaya yesterday. managed to see people i don't usually see and eat ice-cream i don't normally eat. later, they went off to sega's and left me draped across the stairs in front of 1 stop. a jeep full of sexy girls screeched to a halt in front of me and i jumped in and suddenly, the whole world exploded in a blinding flash if stars and stripes.

now i'm back. the world has been pieced together again. one more week till i return to the land of overpriced, inferior food. foster, my dog, has an eye infection. people laugh at me whenever i whip out my phone with its tacky RM5 cover. i want to dance like craig david in his "what's your flava" video. i threw a cockroach down my mother's shirt and she cried. i have to practise more side-parking (my backside parking is el excellento). school's starting soon.

:(

today i saw something that made my heart jump and beat twice its normal speed. it wasn't a nice feeling but still ...

for a completely tolkien 101 purist's view of ttt, point your little clickers here (rated PG for language).

as for me, i enjoyed it but tut-tutted at the irrelevant love scenes between arwen and aragorn and galadriel's hardly-there screen-time. gimli provides the much-needed comic relief in the sombre times the characters are ploughing through and legolas does a fine job of attracting them squealing girlies (look out for the marty mcfly impersonation at the helms deep battlefield).

aragorn, on the other hand, should sign an exclusive endorsement deal with dettol.

give me haldir. anytime. that elf is hubba hubba. and although many people disagree vehemently with me, i stubbornly maintain my stand that he looks like vanessa carlton. y'know, that lady who plays the piano and wears bohemian rags. the one who sings about her career as a cross-country walker.

merry christmas. i spent mine at the promenade, drinking mineral water and looking desolately desolate. donks stayed over last night and we talked until 0520. i hope i didn't snore too loud. but i didn't dare ask her in the morning. a bit pai seh.

new year's coming. i can't even remember half the things i did this year. but if i can't, it means they were unimportant, weren't they?

on another note, i think i terrify patrick. *makes note not to be too brazen with him the next time we meet*

snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes

i went to watch that new bond movie today. pierce brosnan's hairy gorilla-like stomach looks a bit paunchy and miranda frost needs to have her teeth scaled and realigned. the director needs to have a brickload of reality cemented in his brain and is it possible to walk around iceland in a tuxedo and have all bodily parts function flawlessly?

only james bond is able to hijack a plane guarded by armed soldiers and henchmen, assasinate them, survive bad turbulence, get electrocouted with 100,000 volts of electricity, miraculously dodge bullets from a machine gun, flail around in a deadbeat chopper and in the end, emerge unscathed to find an abandoned hut to make love to a woman in a bed of south african diamonds.

bah, humbug.

i did my love for horror movies justice and bought kwaidan. hopefully, i won't be as chicken and weak-hearted as him and be able to watch the four short movies in the same night.

my sister's gossiping on the phone now. what a gossip. but i like to eavesdrop (not very discreetly).

my sister got her hsc results today and the whole household is in an uproar. mum banged on my door at the ungodly hour of 9am and screamed her results through the wooden plank. i screamed back "congratulations" (complete with a blast of wholesome, fragrant, morning breath) and my mum trilled a melodious "thank you" and skipped away.

yesterday, my mother and i went to gurney plaza. i was hoping to see gandalf (with his black eyebrows) and galadriel (with her black sideburns) again but alas, to no avail. i did treat myself to a coney dog, then wolved down half a packet of mcdonald's popcorn (highly recommended). later, i finished off the tobelrone in the fridge and ended my eating spree with pickled mango.

no wonder when my grandaunt saw me, she said "waah, lu ka pui liao" (waah, you are fatter already). my grandma noticed my embarrassment and hurriedly said "aiyah this one from small already fat". i just smiled brightly and hoped that there wasn't chocolate (or pickled mango) stuck between my teeth.

i read harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban until 4am last night. and i do a wonderful rendition of an acapella version of oh holy night.

yao is funny. especially when he's hyper and has sambal kangkung stuck in his teeth. i just met him and chern and jimmy and we bitched about and mocked people who deserve to be bitched about and mocked. then later we had fried ice-cream and paid the nice parking man RM2 for directing chern out of her cramped car park space.

from dinner tonight, i learnt that india depends on pakistan for dhal and roald dahl is india's national hero. jimmy unashamedly exploits listerine for personal gratification and stupid people are those who don't change their passwords after seven thousand years and allow people to share the contents of their inbox with the amused (and embarrassed) occupants of a white proton wira which survived an unfortunate sneezy crash back in 2000.

on the way back, i listened to the eagles and squeezed my bladder muscles tight so as not to soak jimmy's nice car seat. we sang bohemian rhapsody on the way home and i think the guy who works at dave's deli in BJC is supadupahot.

today was spent enclosed in the tv room, with the curtains drawn, devouring two dvds back to back.

i started off with "three" which was a disappointment considering the fact that it was produced by the same people who did "the eye". there were a few "lulled-into-a-false-sense-of-security" scares here and there and i thought the scares would build up to a good, solid climax, but alas, was i disappointed.

the second movie was "from dusk till dawn". cheesy special effects but who needs special effects when george clooney's around? mamamia, almost as hot as jay chow, if i do say so myself.

the heat in penang is stiflingly unbearable. it's like a thick woolly blanket smothering you all over and you have nowhere to escape. the cool confines of an air-conditioned room can only provide so much and once you step out, you're greeted with a blast of scorching air from hell. i don't know how some people can jog in this weather. six laps somemore. gila.

i wish penang island would break away, float downstream and nestle in a comfortable niche between australia and new zealand.

talking about heat, looks like things are heating up in someone's inbox. *evil snicker*

cynthia's travelling northward towards penang tomorrow. i haven't seen her in days, weeks, months, half a year. hopefully, mun wai will be able to make it too. and of course, patrick. sigh. and kevin too.

i came home with a croaky voice last night after spending the better part of my night (4 hours actually) karoakaing at heritage club with the cgl geng. and i sang jay chow's "tornado" all by myself with no hanyu pinyin to help me. *beams*

banana leaf rice was good. but soo asspansive. RM9.50 for the rice, mutton curry and mango lasse. but never mind. it's not everyday that i get to eat banana leaf rice.

my dad has developed this sudden fascination for hindi epic movies. he borrowed kabhi kushi kabhi kam and invited the whole family to watch with him. i am hoping to convince him to watch the phone (on pirated vcd, of course) with me later.

oh my dad just walked into the room and announced that he'll be watching bad company. looks like i'll have to watch the phone by myself on my laptop. i hope i will not chicken out halfway.

i had the pleasure of meeting miss "i-know-everyone-in-penang-island" cindy, miss "i've-got-glass-shards-swimming-around-in-my-arm" mayling and miss "i've-got-a-bag-like-marypoppins" szening. later mr "i-know-everyone-in-penang-island" rommel joined our little party and we hogged the sofa chairs in coffee bean till it was time for dinner.

you know how you're a bit apprehensive when you're going to meet people you met online because sometimes online personalities differ heaps from real life personalities?

well, i was.

in the beginning. especially when they first arrived and everyone was like "er ... um ... oh .... you do? *nervous laughter*"

but later, everything was cool man. we got along like lattes and frappucinos. like protons and wiras. like tissue paper and lau pee.

ok, i go eat banana rice at inniras.

hello comrades.

i'm back in penang now after a four month stint in stuffy singapore.

yesterday, i went to gurney plaza and i saw gandalf and galadriel traipsing about. gandalf walked into a nike store and was nice enough to give me a little wave. i waved back and got a nice LOTR calender with gollum's pewter face on it.

penang is beautiful. why did i ever leave it?

friends are the most brilliant liars.

"eh, this shirt got make me look fat or not?"

never mind that i had to practically squeeze into the shirt and tuck armpit fat carefully into the armholes. i wanted to see what she said and how she would handle a delicate situation like this.

she looked me up and down and i could see that she was trying very hard not to let her gaze linger on the bulgy layers of fat in my midriff (note: also known as "stomach").

"no wor.. looks a bit tight but maybe that's because we just had lunch."

hah, like three hours ago.

"maybe you better get another shirt. this one doesn't suit your face shape very well. the red one over there matches you better".

yeah, more like matches the molten pimples on my face.

in the end, i did buy the red shirt and it does complement my face and its swollen, dotty inhabitants.

i love my friend. she manages to phrase everything so graciously and diplomatically and delicately without hurting my feelings.

i think.

michael jackson